Sucked Dry – J. A. Bove

Have you ever watched a movie and felt that it should have ended thirty minutes earlier, or read a book that you felt could have been cut short by about one hundred pages? Well this is how I felt about the latest season of True Blood, which just ended last Sunday. Don’t get me wrong, I was a big fan of the series, but I found that instead of getting stronger throughout the years, the series just got wilder, and weaker as each season progressed. I thought season four was a complete waste of time and I think I’m finally done with this series.

Where did it go wrong? Let’s face it; season one was truly unique and original – vampires that live among us, not as threatening enemies, but as people who just want to get along. Heck, they even drink synthetic blood to show us that we can all co-exist. How could you not find that interesting? You couldn’t. The show received critical acclaim and won an Emmy and a Golden Globe. HBO had yet another huge success on its hands. Well then, what’s the problem?

They had a hard time following the originality and just grew weird. I suppose they assumed that if you could have vampires that lived peacefully among us, why not other supernatural beings? Enter season two. Not only were we introduced to vampires who we thought we could trust, but apparently we couldn’t, now the world was introduced to maenads. What the hell is a maenad? Apparently they’re some combination of witch and demon with the power to influence humans. Okay, I went with it for a little while. The story line wasn’t as good as season one, but somewhat unique … take me to season three.

Okay, we have vampires, maenads, and now what? Ah werewolves. Ok, I can see that. I was a fan of the wolf-man movie as a kid, and I thought Werewolf in London was actually quite scary. Ok, werewolves and vampires, that sounds cool. No more maenads please. Okay, this season could be good, pull me right back in … what was that? You’re also going to introduce fairies? What kind of fairies – Tinker bell? We’ll have to wait and see in season four. Okay, well I’m not sure what I think about the fairy concept, but I won’t worry about that until next season. As far as season three was concerned, bravo, you won me back. Now let’s try to keep it interesting, throw in some great twists and I’m back on board.

Season four: Alright, I’ve had just about enough of this that I think I can tolerate. Recap, friendly vampires trying to fit into society (only a cover). Maenads influencing humans into all out orgies, done. Werewolves, and were-jaguars, still haven’t determined who’s side they’re on, but at least we know they hate vampires, and now evil fairies. Let’s not forget the witches, you can’t have a show of this calibur without witches. Now throw in some mummies and swamp people and I think you’ve covered the entire gambit of mythical evil creatures, that is unless … dare we say it … you add zombies into the mix. Well, there’s always season five (fingers crossed).

I think the biggest problem that I have with this program is that there’s no longer any suspense. Perfect example, in one of the last episodes, Sookie is surrounded by a ring of fire. Sookie No! Will they save her time, or will she perish? Of course they save her, they always save her. Just like they always save every star on this show. Even when they kill them off, they bring them back. Man, how do I get a hold of some of that V? And why is everyone in love with Sookie? Sure, she’s a pretty girl, but there’s plenty of fish in the ocean. I guess the pickings are pretty slim in Bon Temp. Finally, why Bon Temp? It’s a big world, you’re one hundred and fifty years old, surely there’s far more interesting places in the world to see.

So there you have it. I always do my best to put a positive spin on any program, movie, book I review, but sometimes you just got to say enough is enough. I think in the case of True Blood, I’ve had enough. Now bring on Boardwalk Empire, and please no more vampires.


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